What really happened with the LHC and Texas

Tom, I just learned that we actually did build the collider in Texas. However, it destroyed 99.9999 percent of the planet... and human race. We used all of our remaining resources to research, and then build, a time travel device that would send a single traveler back in time.

That mission was successful, and the LHC is now in Geneva, and smaller. However, not having the collider in Texas deprived us of vital information and another traveling is coming back from a different future to teach us how to use the collider in Texas properly.

So before you know, the LHC will be ours, and America will be one again top-dog in the world of physics.

By the way, if the time travel has you confused, check out this old Steven Colbert, Tek Jensen
video.